Tag Archives: mom

December 2023

So much happens in December. We made crafts and knitted, made spiced nuts and carefully wrapped gifts. We ice skated and ate meals with friends and family and had so much fun that I did not take any pictures at all. Still, I am so glad that I continue to share a few photos here to help me remember. And I know this is true at the end of every month but somehow at the years end I really want to hold it all and not let it go. This blog has preserved the sweetest moments for me to look back on. It is my heart on the internet. Thank you for visiting.

We brought Hugo, our Norfolk Pine inside and decorated our apartment for Christmas.

We attended a concert at the Paramount called “Let Us Break Bread” that honored Tina Turner. It was a lot of fun and totally worth it even in our top floor balcony seats.

We flew to Los Angeles to visit family.

Emma and Grandpa. We stay in Grandpa’s living room and watch old movies with him every day.

There were many old photo albums to look at and I snapped so many photos of my Mom. I still wear her blue shirt. 🙂

We had a wonderful time with family, delivering and opening presents and sipping prosecco (me) at the huge Christmas Eve party. Lots of sweets, yummy food and good conversation.

Stocking treats for me.

Here is Emma sporting a new shirt and jewelry and eating blueberries on Christmas day. Such a lucky kid.

After Christmas we are eager to return home to maiki.

We walked around the lake and visited the library in Chinatown.

Spent the last day of the year in Dimond park by Sausal creek with friends.

losing my Mom

My Mom passed away in June and its been awful to move forward (and surely to pretend that everything is okay by posting to this blog). I have been trying my best for Emma Clover. She doesn’t understand my mourning. She is in her own relationship with a mother that so much a part of her life that my not being there is out of the realm of understanding. To be a mother has been enlightening on how selfish children are. But this life of mine now is about our journey, with maiki too. The deep sadness is there but also so much appreciation for those around me.

I have felt so much stress and anxiety around the pandemic that I needed this summer to be about giving Emma more normal experiences. Going to the pool. Going to the home schooler park days. Visiting family in Los Angeles. Being with people again. So far its been a success. I felt wounded and fragile at first but now but I am feeling a little better as the days go on. The happiness of others helps me when I feel heavy. My neices wedding, Emma’s excitement for swimming, maiki’s infectious love of learning. I am working on the idea its okay to slowly feel okay. And its okay to cry too.