When I came across this photo on a hard drive my heart leaped. I don’t remember ever seeing it before. Looking at that tiny infant on me I suddenly distinctly remembered how new everything was at the beginning. For a week or so breast feeding was the most difficult task in the world. I was feeding her every 3-4 hours and even waking her in the middle of the night so that she would eat and hopefully gain weight. My poor nipples were so sore and she was so hungry. Eek! I would try to sleep when she did like I had been advised but some times I just couldn’t and would end staying awake washing cloth wipes, tidying up the cottage or just watching her sleep. maiki and I were already looking at pictures of her while she was sleeping even then and talking about how we could not believe that we were parents and they just let us take her home from the hospital like it was no big thing. It was such a weird time (no clear division between days anymore) and we were blissed out and sleep deprived. I was so thankful that I didn’t have to go back to work for a while and could just get used to my new job of being a mother. Now I wished that my weeks at home were more like months at home to bond, but its always cut short.
One time maiki got the flu. He felt so bad because Emma was so new and I was left to take care of her by myself. I managed somehow but then almost like an alarm went off suddenly he felt better and I was the one who could barely hold her for being so ill. I had a high fever and still breast fed so that she would get the antibodies to avoid the flu that we had. It was the strangest moment of my life and I just hoped and prayed that I recovered quickly. Those were the days when I most appreciated food being delivered to my door. We had been gifted a fancy meal delivery service and ate better those nights than if I was cooking dinner. And we always had dessert. The desserts were the best part and I daydreamed that we had the funds to keep the dessert delivery going for ever. Those were the days-chocolate cheesecake and baby snuggles. ^_^